We learn to appreciate more when we are going to lose or more like leave.

Today is Christmas day, Christmas is usually not a big thing to me.
But this year its different...

random

The sky is blue,n the ground is green with grass.
I look outside the window i see green,
Trees are all around me,hills n jungles are behind me n most importantly GREENS.
N Oh..its raining.
This is oh so random on a saturday afternoon.

I don't want to leave.
I want to leave.
I don't want to leave beloved Taiping.
I am a lil excited to go over there.
But i still have to leave...

Nothing is wrong today..

Something is wrong with me, and again i don't know what is wrong n why did i feel that something is wrong. I dont know what is wrong but i can sense the wrongness in me, n I don't know how n why n what n where n...

Cis....

I am BUSY yet HAPPY.
Lets hope that i will continue to be HAPPY n for everything to be alright for everyone.

=)

i m happy,
but i feel abit bad.

omg...
i m relieved n will b happy for the coming few months..
n also hoping for the days n months n years to come...

Selamat Hari Raya
=)

3.03 a.m.

Lucky to be home again.
Taiping my home.
Yes...
I am Lucky.

Something Unwanted n bad is going to happen.
Shit.

update (22/9/08): Not unwanted n bad,it turn out to be nothing.

sepuluh Sept.

Exams, habis!
N of course i m so so so so hyper hyper happy happy.
But when judgment day comes,oh I dont know what will happen but of course i hope n hope n hopefully i am as happy as i am today or maybe even happier! That would be great!
I seriously cannot afford to fail,no no no no fail..Pass Pass Pass Pass!

I am now on Holiday!

Fourth of September.

I was so so so super hungry just now,n now i m so so so super full,full till cannot breathe!

I think i am addicted to Yeo's Chrysanthemum Tea ,less sugar, Maybe thats the pengganti for kopi O in KL.

One paper gone,two more to go.

I seriously dun want to disappoint my parents, i sincerely feel that. I don't know why, but i never ever felt that before until recently.

Day n night is turning upside down, so i guess i better do something about it before my next paper,cause its a paper in the morning.

I just really really need a holiday, yes i m going to have one after i finish all my exams, n holidays are not free,we pay for the holiday using not only money but also the stress we had during exam period.

There is no such thing as FREE .Yes! Nothing is free in this world, really nothing. Economy people will know why. But the reason for nothing is free in this world by me is not same as economy people's point of view. (This is a reminder for me to blog about this later.)

A Lizard decided to stop by my table to visit me yesterday, i m geli of lizards. I tried to chase the lizard away but it just wont go, I only manage to move its tail n i don't dare to look cause its tail is moving moving n what if it decided to break it off, u know lizards pretending to be dead, its some mechanism of the lizards to protect themselves from their enemy, but see i m not its enemy i just want it to move away. I dont even dare to look at it as i try to move it away using a paper because i m geli, n the lizard on the end of my table which meets my other end of the bed,so since i m so geli i was worried that it might jumped or somehow climb to my bed, the thought of it happening also makes me feel geli. Then i just leave it,cause i thot mayb its pretending to be dead. But before that i cover it with a plastic bag to prevent it from jumping onto my bed , but there is still room to breath n way for the lizard to get out of the it. Cause i cover like half ly la, But when i woke up the next morning, it is still there, so i went downstairs n ask my uncle to remove it,since i m so so geli, even typing about this now makes me geli. My uncle told me he will do that later,so off i went to college,first paper. When i got back uncle has not do anything about it yet, until i remind him, he then went to remove it n then told me that the Lizard is dead. So it is really dead not pretending,now i know. No wonder it doesnt even move abit no matter how hard i hit or bang the table. N no wonder it doesnt go away,cause it is dead. May u rest in Peace lizard. I m still wondering how did the Lizard land on my table? Only the lizard knows how, mayb when the lizard landed on my table, the lizard injured itself n break its bone or something like that,n it cannot move.N that cause serious injuries n cause the death of the lizard.

The dumbest mistake of all mistake happened. I cannot even forgive myself for that. but whats over is over, i cannot do anything now. yorrr.....

The 2 in 1

Nadya, u don't have to wait for another 50 years for another post.
I m going to blog today.

I cannot do anything without thinking of my exams,n the thought of me doing something else but not studying is like almost killing me,the guilt. But still i m still not studying, Sometimes i wonder what kind of a human am i? Is there two types of ezen in one ezen? One moment i would be feeling all guilty not studying, n next i would be thinking yor,still got time nvm. Its the ID ezen n the Superego ezen,but as we can see the ID ezen is overpowering the Superego ezen. I know after this exam i would have all the time in the world to do whatever i want to,be it doing nothing, staring at the wall in my Taiping house, ronda around taiping,onlining and etc. No one will cares, even the superego ezen would also not care.
Everytime exams come,i would be exam exam faster zooommm n finish. But this time i didnt feel that way,although i do want my exam to be over fast. In my previous post, i said that time zooomms,it really does but that only u will feel after everything is over.I realise if u do nothing time will zoomm,but if u do something then time wont zoomm n u only think that wah time flies only after everything is over. I actually duno what am i blogging about,nvm this must b caused by the state of my mind right now which is pretty blurry. I know i had been quite blurr all along,but this is the times when blurr become more n more blur. I m just blurrrrrr....
I am not aware of what is happening recently,its like i m doing something else, but my mind if thinking of something else. If u think about it,its quite scary when this happens.What if ......
zooommm....byeee

Today n Yesterdays

I am going to blog today,that is what i told myself today.

I had law class in the morning today,until one something. N this is the last class for the semester, this means exams is coming soon,real soon. I mean it very soon.
After class, i went to meet Nadya in Sunway Pyramid, we had nasi lemak lunch there, n the boss is always smiling smiling,nadya told me a story about the smiley smiley boss.But its good la,friendly boss.No wonder the gerai from small move to big shop d,according to nadya.Then we walk around, seeing n talking. I m happy, at last went out with nadya,was suppose to go out with her since duno when,but always tak jadi.
Then after that,balik. The sunway pyramid parking only got exit at one particular floor i think,i have to go round n round the sunway pyramid go round to finally keluar from the building after i see so many keluar signs. N wat time is it? oh, five something, jam time,but takpe since what i got is time. So i pun buta2 keluar from the exit n ended up somewher that i tak pernah keluar from, then i see oh shit no petaling jaya sign, then i just agak agak n go u turn n jumpa d all the pj signs, After i u-turn got police block,thats y la jam n i see this person with his hand on his forehead talking to the police,so i think this person must be kena alot of saman la,den tak bayar now kena police stop d,sked la kot or sakit kepala?
Then i go straight straight n then hav to keep left n berebut-rebut with all the other road users to merebut a place at the left lane so that i can masuk to the traffic light place n turn left,everyone was so ganas. When i manage to turn left, i masuk ldp d la,den i see all the cars not moving. So i just follow n hav to merebut again, to get into the right lane to naik the mini penang bridge.N i was stuck there on the bridge for duno how long,from there i can see asap2 i thot got fire or wat,den turn out to be nothing. Then all along the ldp i look left n right n left n right again.N there is this person that is reading newspaper while driving,althoh its jamming n u r moving the car very slowly but still very bahaya. In conclusion, i see there are ganas drivers that just menyempit2 like wan to kiss my car,n there is motorcyclist that ride like snake menyelinap thru the small small spaces between cars.
I usually hate jams, but sometimes u just dont hate it when u have the time n just enjoy the driving, the u observe everything around u, n that can be fun if u have the time la.

Another thing i want to say is, time flies like super fast like zooommm,sudah sampai. Know what i mean?
Its like just yesterday i started studying business,n zoommm its one year goin to habis d.
Its like just yesterday i went countdown for merdekan n zoommm merdeka countdown is tomoro.
Its like just yesterday that semester 2,2008 starts n holiday is over n zoommmm finals is next week n after that holidays.
Its like just yesterday, i went to buy ikan bakar from the pasar ramadhan n zoommm pasar ramadhan is going to start this coming monday.
Its like just yesterday,that i went to lake gardens to play candles n zoommm the lantern festival is here again.
See, how fast is everything? Those that felt like yesterday was actually a year ago.
Time flies...

I had a dream,
A dream that made me smile when i woke up.

last minutes

I am forever last minute, n that just happen today again for the duno the how many thousands billion times. Even though, i always tell myself to be insaf everytime i did last minute works. Theres a Lil Bit of improvement though,just for once ly,not so kelam kabut n last minute this semester.
However, i managed to finished n hand it up on time.

I wonder,Is this last minute thing hereditary?
Cause my dada is like this abit, I think from wat i heard from my mada. I m not blaming this last minute thing on hereditary,i know its just me but i m just wondering.

Another wednesday is coming.

I am bored.
I am indecisive.

I duno what to do.
I duno what to eat.
I duno where to go.
I takda hala tuju.

wEdnEsday

The reason for my depressing is just small matter,n will be gone soon.
I've got no class today,so its just a whole day of doing nothing.

• Woke up late.
• Online a while.
• Mandi.
  
• Go out.
  
• Send my car to wash.
• Lunched at Sedap.
• Walked abit.
• Go Home.
• Mahjonged a while.
• Discovered that something might wrong with my laptop.
• Dinnered at home.
• Watched Teevee.
• Now Onlining.

Thats what i did the wholeday,N its not nothing. I feel very happy that my car is now Clean, n is Shinning, n its dust free for one day at least. Although i know by tomorrow my car will again be covered with dust again,with the ever so polluted air here. So, from today onwards i Tan e-Zen will water my car at least once a week and make sure my car is washed once every fortnight. Wash every week, later pocket berlubang. Back to how clean is my car, i drove home happily after my car is so clean,park n came down,then i went to look at the front of my car,konon2nya wan to admire my car,n i see bird shits! Why of all cars,the bird shit on my car! Cis, burung Bodoh! Takpe, aku sabar...I then Clean my car, wiped away all the shits! My car is again clean.

I am depressed, am i? I don't Know, I am Not kot.
Ok, Confirm i am no more depressed Kot.
Nevermine, I dont feel depressed at this moment.

I seriously got nothing to blog, NOTHING at all.
Actually theres is something,but i havent finished yet, n Dont know will i ever finished it anot.

as usual

mid terms. mid terms. coming after me!
and here am i. heehee, so if u want to read my blog(dat also if got ppl read), u know when to come.
Times when my midterms is coming, exams coming, assignments dueing, n when finals sumore menarik...That is when i will blog blog blog.

Memang amat malasnya saya untuk mengulang kaji sekarang, dan sampai sekarang saya masih tidak tahu, bila baru akan saya insaf. Saya tidak mahu menghampakan diri saya, dan yang paling penting saya tidak mahu menghampakan ibu bapa saya.

Saya perlu diselamatkan, tetapi tidak ada sesiapa pun yang bisa selamatkan saya kecuali diri saya sendiri. Sejak kebelakangan ini saya memang tidak dapat apa untuk diblog,kerana otak saya kosong bagai sekeping kertas putih. Sekeping kertas putih, yang diminta untuk dituliskan sesuatu, tetapi tulisannya tak sampai sampai.
Dengan itu saya menamatkan utusan saya kali ini.
Selamat Tinggal,semoga berjumpa lagi. Moga2 saya insaf.

Everything is okay for the mean time n now lets hope that everything will be alright forever!

I so so can't wait for misi to happen.. hehe

=)

empat jam,enam minit

Its now four o six and i m awake blogging.
I am still here blogging when there is something else that i should be doing.
No,not to sleep,but to work work work on my assignment.
I slept for almost the wholeday,n that is why i am not sleeping now.
N i have to wake up in the morning tomorrow,late morning pun jadi, not noon or later than that!
I better go sleep...

I know i mentioned this before, but i just have to do that again until i know that its alright, so...

p/s : Lets hope n hope n hope that everything will be alright.

kegatalan tangan

i m now doing my assignment.
So,what m i doing here?
haha,just dropping by to post a post cos my hand gatal want to blog abit.
cis, bedebah me rite? so lazy doing assignment also must pass by...
So, bye...

p/s : Lets hope n hope everything will be alright =)

Sunday

I always love sunday cause it would be a holiday, n its the day to rest n relax.
and thats what i do today,rest n relax n just take my time to do watever i have to.
I stayed at home today.
Woke up late,as usual.
Turn on the computer, go online, check mail.
Wash clothes dengan perkhidmatan washing machine.
Sidai Baju.
Tukar bedsheets,pillowcase,comforter.
Keep telling myself that i hav to wash them tomorow.
Go online again,chat a while.
Mandi.
Read newspaper.
Have late lunch.
I am now here onlining.

Friday the twenty-seventh

i am here again tonite.
wanting to blog and going to.

I woke up late abit, and rush to mandi and after finishing rushing myself to be ready, i left to sch.
I was driving n i got a msg from my friend saying that class cancelled! adakah patut? memang patut. yay! class cancelled,but sure got replacements n all but tidak apa la.
So,i am free for the day!n so i went to klcc with my friend via rapid kl n Lrt.
Save petrol,dun drive, petrol so damn mahal now!
First time i took rapid kl, not bad, quite nice.Lrt i took before,quite fun.
Went to Klcc to jalan jalan ly,no money cannot buy. But theres alot of thing i want right now this moment! but apa nak buat,duit tak da! aih...n its time to save now! but if we spend more then the economy will be good back wert,so how?
So spend,spend,spend ke arah ekonomi baik, but where to get the money? I didnt work. Maybe its time for me to get a part time job.So that i can earn money,n buy what i want! But me,how much pay i can get? aih...

i got distracted just now,and so now i m thinking of what more to blog...


i got nothing more to say,n thats the end.

Dreams...
Mimpi...

I always n always dream.
I dream at night when i sleep.
n also daytime when i m in the class.

I sometimes dream of my fire burning, and sometimes dream that theres no more fire.
and i dream of alot lot of things more.
Sometimes i wake up from my dream laughing.
sometimes i wake up from my dream smiling.
sometimes i wake up from my dream scared.
n more n more sometimes.

For the past few years,my fire only burns in my dream,but that also little fire ly.
so i have been waiting n waiting for "mimpi sempurna" n what i got is only "mimpi hampir sempurna".
N now what will happen when that happens? Nothing,cause that will only be in the dream n in reality nothing happens. sad rite? sad to think n hope for mimpi sempurna?
No,i dont think so.
I believe that being positive,ends up with positive outcome.

Kesempurnaan dalam mimpi bisa menjadi realiti.

Aku percaya Kesempurnaan bisa terjadi.

Wish upon a Star...

and your wish will come true...

How i Wish . . . . .

down?

I am down.
I am indeed very DOWN now, after thinking about my life.
Whats with my life that made me feel down after thinking about it?
I don't know. How can i not know right? but Thats the thing with me, i just don't know.
Don't even know myself.

I am now alone, in a world of my own.
Only me, and thats when i start to think about my life.
This past few days n weeks, i had been thinking deep...very very deep.
I don't know whats wrong with me.

I know,theres nothing that i can complain about in my life.
My grandma, grandfather, father, mother, sisters, uncles, aunties, cousins n etc all are great people. that = My family is GREAT....n
I've got all the basic necessities and even got more than that, i cannot be more thankful.
so, my life should be great rite?

But, theres is still this BUT.
There is this something that made me feel down.
and again i don't know what that something is.
I cannot say that there is no reason behind all these, n it is a lie cause there is something but i just don't know what it is.
Something that is hidden, that even me myself havent discovered whats hidden or missing in my life.
Somehow my thoughts had wondered there and is now struggling or more like dying to know more.
I am not always like this, i dont feel down most of the time. This is unusual.
I am not the usual me. I want to be the usual me again. I do not want to always feel down.
I want to be the carefree me. Yes, i do look like i am the usual me, but when i am alone this is what happens. This is freaking me out.
Too much for me to handle, emo emo emo...

I might or might not know about the hidden or missing something.
At the end of the day life goes on, and how i wish i can go on as life goes on.
I keep on telling myself that life goes on and i will just go with the flow but deep down inside i wont. Cause i just cannot and do not want to go against my will, cause i know in the end i will suffer more if i just follow my life n go on without knowing whats that hidden something inside me.

*Hidup aku takkan sempurna tanpa ...
apa ya? sesuatu yang aku pun belum tahu lagi...

monday the sixteenth

i am no more in tpg,been back here for about three weeks plus d.
I planned to blogged bout my holiday in Taiping,but i just did not, cos theres just too much happenings here in kl and i am too busy attending to them or more like i m lazy.
So, at last here i am wanting to blog, but again otak aku sememangnya kosong!
Where has all the thoughts in my head gone to? Maybe they had jump into sea cause i did not take care of them good enough in my head.
Yesterday is fathers day! Happy Fathers Day to my PAPA! (dun think he knows this exist.)

My life is sad. izit so? I think so but i dont really know.
My life is miserable, izit so? Tak tahu..
My life is a Fool,izit so? Maybe yes,Maybe not.
So, am i depressed or wat? Mungkin Ya atau Tidak.
What will be next?
No one knows, cause Tommorow is Unknown!

A bit of here n there???

I am a little bit sick, a little bit blur, and a little bit not blur. So what am i now?
A little bit of everything.
For the past few days that i had not been blogging, i had been thinking of what to blog!
and did i get anything? yes, i did. But there are too much thoughts and all are scattered in the great mind of mine, So i cannot put them in words yet, still have to organize my thoughts first.

Give me a few moments,
n i will be able :
to blog what i wanted to blog...
to say what i want to say...

So, till then...

wait..got pictures.

two only la.

Mumu

This post is going to be about my friend Nadya(heres a link to her blog). Told her i m goin to blog bout her, so here it is...

She is Nadya or Mumu or 'nad-yah' given by our addmath teacher.
I first met her when i was in form 5 n that was 2005, she came from Penang.
She is this new girl in class where everyone was like, WAH, ada budak baru masuk kelas kita!
No la, we were not so jakun as if we were in primary schools. Everyone was like hyeing here n there to here. N she is quite friendly, n she look soft and diam diam. But when i get to know her she is as krazy as she can be. She can also be loud sometimes and she is not the diam diam type. Whatever it is, she is a GREAT friend of mine.
We keep on talking in class, n i remember she got this cat she sayang very much and if i m not wrong her cat's name is Oshiey.(duno correct or wrong the spelling)
I duno wat stories we keep on talking about la, but we got alot of stories to talk about wan,Or more like gossiping.
Oh, n she is very good in music n she is doing music now after spm. all the best to her!
She is a very dahsyat drive last time, la but now okay d kot.
She moved back to penang d, after spm so we can only meet once in a while.
I think i m going to meet her tomoro, if she is free or if she can escape.

This is her.
Very big eyes she got.

To Nadya,
See, i blog bout u! U bangga anot? haha
Actually this is abit copy u wan, just copy the format ly but the contents different!
Sumore i write all good good wan, happy anot?

-The End-

Kepanasan yang memBARA-BARA

Hari ini, saya akan berbahasa Malaysia, kerana sebagai seorang anak Taiping, kita kena kerap menggunakan bahasa malaysia!
Setelah sekian lama saya tidak menggunakan bahasa malaysia dalam penulisan, saya harap saya masih boleh berbahasa Malaysia.

Hari ini adalah hari yang paling panas sepanjang masa saya berada di Taiping.
Saya telah mengalami kepanasan yang membara bara hari ini, dan hampir masak di dalam kereta.
Pagi tadi penyaman udara di dalam kereta yang saya guna itu masih berfungsi dengan baik, tetapi entah kenapa tengah hari tadi, penyaman udara itu seperti sudah gila. Udara yang keluar dari ia cuma sikit sejuk,Ia seperti tidak boleh sampai ke saya jadi saya kena letak muka saya di hadapan penyaman udara itu untuk menghayati udara sejuk kerana saya terlalu panas di dalam kereta dan tidak boleh menahan kepanasan itu lagi. Jika tidak berbuat demikian, kemungkinan besar saya akan pengsan di dalam kereta!
Bukan itu sahaja, tangan dan kaki saya yang terkena pancaran sang matahari itu hampir masak! Masak! masak! Masak!
Saya langsung tidak boleh buka mata saya hari ini apabila berdepan dengan sang Matahari yang terik menerik itu!
Bayangkan betapa panasnya hari ini.
Sangat2 panas dan saya berasa hendak memotong rambut saya kerana sangat PANAS!
Kepanasan yang membara bara tetapi malangnya tiada kebaraan api kebahagiaan.

This is pointless, Just Ignore!

This few nights,i log in to blogger and wanted to blog. Sometimes i even started typing a few sentences but eventually i stopped and did not post anything.
Everyday i have thoughts of what to blog about.
So,Theres a lot that i want to blog about, but when i started typing any post, all those thoughts on what to blog just disappear. Maybe i should jot down my thoughts, so that i can blog.
But the thing is i wont eh. aih...

What are my thoughts? Where does all my thoughts go?
i just cannot get back my thoughts. I cannot even remember them!
This is not a good sign.
I cannot blog like how i did last time anymore.
Last time my posts are quite long,now short like duno wat!
I want to make it long but i just cannot! Even that long post tak jadi just one almost long nia.
My mind is blank! Blank! Blank!
How can this happen?
Nowadays, my post are just complains n complains.
N most of it are pointless, post yang tiada hala tuju.
but wait,this is my blog i can just do whatever i want with it!
So, whats this post about then? No point la. Just ignore this!

i hope i can next post will be one with hala tuju.
n tersusun too.

selamat tinggal

This post is dedicated to eejane @ JN. She is my krazy and great friend.
She leave Taiping,Perak,Malaysia today.
Krazy times were the super fun times!

To eejane @ JN,

• Tahniah! Bunga ungu anda telah mekar!
• Keep the fire burning no matter where you are! Which i know u will!
• Lets work harder to collect more woods!
• Remember our mission!
• Thanks for everything!
• I will be looking forward for more krazy days to come!
• Don't miss siang malam Kopi Oh too much!
  
• Selamat Tinggal dan jumpa lagi bila kita berjumpa!
• Sementara itu,kita berjumpa di MSN sajala...
  

0122

I m facing this screen n thinking of what to blog about.
This is because no kopi oh for me tonite! therefore,my mind is not creative and imaginative tonite!
So this post will be as short as it is.

Long Post yang Tak Jadi

I was looking through my older post and they r quite long,so i am making this a long post.
But u know what? I don't know what to blog about, n still want to blog n make this a long post.

I was chatting with Sher Lyn, my friend since kindergarten. We were talking about how our life had change or more to how we have changed? Its like this, sometimes we sensed or felt that something about us have changed but we just don't know what is it. However, time will let us think about it n we will somehow find out about it. But some of it, just forgotten, once forgotten forever gone! Sometimes i will just sit down n think about my life, what am i now? n how was i before? Most of the time i just cannot answer myself. But why? wonder about life rite? n why? compare the past me n the present me? Cause nothing will change things that already happened rite? but i Can't help it but to think n think n think about my life. N after the thinking sessions most of the time i will discover something about life, which is good or bad? More to the good i think. N so i should let my mind explore n wonder more.

Its now 1.40 in the morning n my mind is functioning not quite right.
I drank Kopi Oh in Siang Malam justnow, but that is not what that is causing me to still be awake. Its me myself that is reluctant to sleep.Then when i wake up late the next day i will be blaming myself for not waking up early. Sometimes i just wonder what kind of human am i? but every human is unique and different in their own way. So i m just what i am no matter what i am, every human being should be accepted as what they are. I think caffeine makes my thinking creative and imaginative and also abit smarter!


i m Trying to make this long but its obvious i tak berjaya.Not Long Enough!
Nevermine, i will make it berjaya next time.
N my back hurts for
1) sitting on the bed with the laptop on my lap.
2) sitting the meditation sitting position with the laptop on a pillow on the bed.
I was in those two positions since 11 something p.m. Which is for about 2 and the half n more hours.

*i was wondering how come no green in this post?so heres the bit of green in this post.

Bintang

Ku petik bintang,
Untuk kau simpan,
Cahayanya tenang,
Berikan kau perlindungan.

Benarkah yang bintang boleh memberikan perlindungan?
Dan jika ia memang benar, aku ingin petik bintang untuk diriku sendiri.
Aku tak tau apa yang aku tengah merepek, tetapi yang aku tau, aku nak petik bintang!!!
Apakah sebenarnya warna bintang? Agaknya ada tak bintang yang berwarna hijau?
Bintang Hijau! Di mana bintang hijau??? ke bintang itu cuma adalah cahaya?
Aku memerlukan perlindungan bintang, dan juga perlindungan untuk menyemarakkan api!

The Doughnut / Donut story

Aku berjaya...
I made Donut yesterday! n we succeeded, =)
The process of making the donut was quite long. The time we waited for the donut to rise before frying it was like never ending.
First we mix the flour n yeast n water, n after the dough gets dry then we started shaping the donut, quite fun n theres some technique to shape the donut! Then wait for the donuts to rise, then fry n
Finally....
The Donuts not that perfect, but for first timers not bad la.
We top the donuts with glaze and chocolate rice and nuts.
Thats the end of doughnut / donut story...
=)

Made?Cooked?Baked?

Things i made/cook/ baked!

The first was the dessert i made! hehe...There is a thai name for the dessert but i duno what is it called.The dessert was also called Red Ruby, i think it is red ruby because there is this chunks of water chestnuts that was covered with tapioca flour n it looks like red ruby kot. But the one i made, got green ones also,hehe.
Oh, i think cookies was the first. I baked cookies, n the cookies with all kind of special special shapes,hehe. It was chocolate chip cookies with some strips of almonds.
N then the cup cakes!!!This one i got pictures, actually ejane mixed everything n i just decorated some of it lo, but still i m a part of it!Just look at the photos, it tells u everything!

All of it.nice rite? haha(click the pic to see the details on the cup cakes)

Fire, fire! Please burn!

N today we r going to make donuts! Then i duno what to make d! Must go think again!
Holiday is just super fun! So i m making good use of my holiday to cook n bake lo.
I woke up super late today, n was like shocked. I have to wake up earlier tomorrow!!!
There is something i want to blog about, but i will put it in another post later!

*how does the foods taste like? Should be nice la! haha!

My thoughts

This few days, i had been thinking deeply about my life.
What will i be in the future? Will i succeed or fail in life?
and i m tired of doing so!
I m tired of my thoughts! I don't want to think, think, think anymore!
Why can't i just live the present n don't care about the future n past? My thoughts is more to the future, so, why must i think so much about the future? Who knows what will happen in the future? Some people may know,but what i know is i won't know! Does the future really matters? I think it does,but i m just tired thinking about it! My mind have to stop thinking about it!

I have all the time i want now, and i don't know what to do to fill my time. N i m just too lazy to do anything! n that should be the cause of my thoughts...
I guess everything in life is like this,
when you want something, u will never get it but when you dont want it, it will just appear in front of u...

miracle

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
Its hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

I believe in miracle,do you? Once i thought that was miracle, but i was wrong, it was more like an obstacle for miracle,i think. Anyway what is done is done, let the past be in the past. Now, lets talk about the future. Nothing is easy and for everything we get there is a price to pay,just like the saying 'Nothing is free".To get something or to achieve something sure got some bump here n there,where got everything smooth only wan,right? Even highway also the roads not smooth eh. So,I believe and i will achieve. hehe =)
Why on earth am i suddenly blogging bout miracle? Just feel like it i guess. Maybe its because of the song from Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston that i m into this few days. So exams over, and i don't have to study for bout a month! What a relief ! =)

one more to go

One more paper to go and i m done for the semester!!!!
n i really really really really really want to pass all the subjects i took, that i will know on judgment day a.k.a result releasing day!
i just cannot wait for holidays to come, and that is happening after my last paper on friday!
last paper here i come!!!
ok,i have to force myself to study for the last paper....
How i wish i can study willingly, without me forcing myself to study.

i need help!
i m desperate...
for what huh?
i duno...
i m so going to slap myself...

update:
i know what help i need!
i need someone to slap me when i dont study!
thats very funny,cos now i m not studying n updating this post very important hor!
I cant wait for my holidays to come!
SO SO SO desperate for holiday!!!
coming soon after exams!
desperado equals me! again?aiyoh..
holidays equals motivation to study!

exams?

My exams starts next Tuesday, n yes that is why i am blogging. see,so soon exam coming again!
I am scared and stressed,but i m doing nothing.
Tan Yi Xuan, please study! study!
Dont start den stop! understand?
see,i m now talking to myself..oh,no!
ok, Tan Yi Xuan let me tell u something,
let the coming holidays be the motivation for u to study,okay? Can?
ok,holidays will be my motivation to study!
wish me luck!
thankq

kegeraman yang amat sangat

i am super geram!
i take every effort i can to get the sims2 with the other expansion packs..
n i drove all the way to the well known digital mall to get it!
n the service super bad, the salesperson totally sucks! The face black like shit,
ask her questions she say she duno,cos she din play. As a salesperson u should find out about all ur products rite? Damn shitty!!!
fine,anway i bought the dvd for 20 cos got 2cds..
n guess wat?
i CANNOT INSTALL THE SIMS 2!!! THAT JUST RUINED MY WHOLEDAY!
THAT STUPID CD CANNOT USE EH!
the first one i get from one can use,but after sometime cannot d.
So what is this huh? i m fated to not play the sims 2 zit?
just hate it,2nd time liao!
super kek nia!

lepaking

spending the past few days, loitering around doing nothing. =)
Slept late at night n woke up extremely late.
The reason is : sims.
I bought a mouse from ikano last wednesday,n today cannot use d!
Damn, cheap stuff is like that i think!
Have to go get another one, this time i knw wat to get.
I m hungry,but i m going for nasi lemak later..late late late..
But i m now hungry!how? how? how?
I m going to get something to eat first!!!

i am calm now.

Yesterday i was just being me.
So,how do i feel today? Not so angered or saddened anymore.
When i know things wont go the way i want, at that moment my reaction will be gigantic! But after a while,everything will be normal again.That is me...
Although i m still trying to make my plan work n unflushed it from the "jamban kang", but i know tough luck. I doubt that will happen.
I am like that, at that very moment when my plan was flushed, its like the whole world is going against me n the world ending! Eventually, i will realize the next day usually, nothing big n there is no need to be so angered n saddened. So, i dramatic zit? I duno la.
But still... *sigh

I just notice that, I don't really blog about happy stuff,sometimes i do but most of it are complains of my dissatisfaction. But i think that is one of the purpose of me having this blog, to complain n complain n no one will bother what i write. So, i can write whatever i like. Don't have to think twice or watsoever!

I hate assignments, exams, and quizzes! How i wish, college is without those three, just attend lectures and tutorials, and thats it. The lecturer will just asses n grade us like dat! So nice hor? but dream on ezen,That will never ever happen!
I am a last minute person, everything also last minute. My assignments forever last minute!!!

I wan to play the sims 2 with the expansions,but i cannot get to install it to my pc! MCK!
i had been waiting from last week,but when i got it cannot install. I wonder how shit things will be somemore! First the plan, then this, n whats next?

i am saddened

I just hate it,when things dont turn out the way i want them to be.
It will just ruin everything!
and i super hate when i planned everything nicely d,then just because of some dumb dumb reason.
Everything i plan had to be thrown into the "jamban kang" n flush! everything gone!
No appealing, no asking again, nothing. Just shut up n follow the order!
Do u know how i feel?
I feel like i am a hamba, don't even have the right to talk,just listen!
DAMN IT!!!!!
n why is this happening?
This is happening because one bunch of idiots did something n the actions of those idiots had caused my plan to be flushed!
Idiots will always remain as idiots. Moreover they are the stupidest,dumbest bunch of idiots!
I wont call them idiots,if their actions doesn't interfere my life! But now i hate them n they are idiots,because of them my plan is flushed!
DAMN the idiots!

out of a sudden

Accidents happen everywhere, and sometimes in the toilet.
I fell, luckily not into the "jamban kang",just on the floor ly.
I slipped n fell n it hurts!
The reason for me not blogging is because i got nothing to blog about.
That means nothing much had happened since the last post from me.
Actually, got somethings la,but i am just lazy n then i duno what i want to blog d.
I had weird dreams.
I wonder why do i have these kind of dreams?

I got something to ask u all,answer honestly wan :
am i too into the color Green? Like super Fanatic?
but it is still okay rite?

This part is specially dedicated to, Kawanku Mei Ling!
Its Joanne beckham aka mei ling's birthday yesterday, just past a few hours ago nia.
N she celebrated her birthday with something inked into her skin.
n so Happy Belated Birthday Mei Ling!!!! or u preferto be known as Joanne beckham?
But i m used to calling u Mei Ling all along d eh, very hard to change eh.
Tetapi aku akan cuba sedaya upaya, kalau you mau digelar Joanne Beckham!
Aku minta maaf banyak banyak kawan, cause din wish u tepat tepat the time.
n Have a wonderful , happening, wuiyohing, Fuyohing year ahead!!!

eyes!

suppose to be studying,but this is wat i did...
i m just doing wat sherlyn suggested,upload pictures...
cause,true also what she said,i go c ppl blog also prefer to see pictures rather than just words all over!




1) can barely open my eyes.
2) looking at u.
3) wah!


In conclusion, i got small n sepet eyes.

Friday

i had been wasting money.
Its like money that don't need to be spent if i m more careful.
Wasted money to repair my car,and also have to pay for the damages of the car that i hit.
Next, i bought a few books of parking tickets cheaper n they happen to be fake ones,n i cannot use that anymore!
Wasted a bit cause of bus tickets.
*sigh i don't know when will good things happen to me again. Why are there so many bad things happening after i return from taiping after CNY. There are good things happening but bad things more!
Some people told me that dragons will have good luck all year round,but see how things turn out for me???
ok, i think i have to bath with the '7 colors flower' again. To wash away all my bad lucks!
ok, think positive! good things coming! all the bad had passed n gone away!
i wake up every morning, not wanting to get up n most of the time cannot get up.
i sleep alot! on the days dat i've got no class i sleep even more!
n the more i sleep i get sleepier.
i suspect something is not right with my body system.
Mid term is next week.
After that have to start doing my assignments.
I am lazy, very lazy.
Must not be lazy anymore.
Must be disciplined n hardworking.
Don't waste anymore money!

Lydia Sum @ Sam Tin Ha, passed away on Tuesday morning...
I had been watching her shows,since i was a kid and now still watching.
She is one fabulous comedienne! N she sings well too! Her daughter too sings well!
The fact is, in everything there will be a beginning and an ending.
In life too its the same. People live(beginning) and die(ending).
She had been sick for quite sometime,and to see things from the good side she do not have to suffer anymore, and peace is with her now.
Lydia Sum will forever be remembered. She is indeed a very strong lady and a person that is always respected.
May she Rest In Peace.

stare?

Time is moving.
but not me.
i stop n stare.
I think i m moving but i go no where.
I was here all along and,
I m wondering why i m here not there.

cny n etc

Chinese new year was fun!
family gatherings...good foods...gambling...
Everything was good n fun until the 12th of february, a tuesday. The first day i m going to college after cny holidays. Y is that? Cause i had an accident! i hit someone's car! It is my fault.
N i was complaining dat i am "sui" (bad luck). but my friends said i m lucky cos i m safe! Ya,true also.
The front of my car cacat d. So now no car send to the workshop d. Nvm i m going back tpg anway.

nothing

Nothing to do,that y i m sitting here....
Looking forward for CHINESE NEW YEAR to come!
n actually looking forward to going back TAIPING !
n thats in about three days time!
But before that got quiz on monday,luckily open book but still...aih...
N i need to shop for more clothes!!! Still not enough!
i m bored! Can go now, but mixuan and aunty is sick no one to shop with..Have to stay at home...
NVM will try asking them to go tomorrow!!! =)

Beautiful Sunday

I woke up quite late today,n after having my breakfastlunch...
Finally i did something! i mean a few things...
Mizen suggested that she want to help me wash my car,so i say okay!since someone is going to help me n my car is like super super dirty,i had to scrub my car a few times.
I shampooed the car for the first time n rinse it,n then have to shampoo the car again n rinse again to make sure that my car will be clean. Mizen vacuumed the inside of the car n the carpets! So this time was cleaning the car thoroughly,inside n outside,complete la! I think i spend about two hours cleaning my car,thats long! n oh, when i was rinsing my car with water using the hose, i was rinsing the windows n theres bright sun,so water n the sun n i Got Rainbow on my window n on my car! =) Its been quite some time since i see one.
N while Mizen was vacuuming,i went to my room n changed the bed sheet, comforter sheet n etc, n washed them! I just put them into the washing machine.
In my whole entire life,Just last year i knew how to operate the washing machine,n i find it is something fun to do. The washing machine makes washing clothes easy n simple, Just dump ur clothes into it press a few button, put the detergent n close the cover,n just wait for an hour or so i guess, then hang the clothes outside n let it dry n done! I m writing this as if no one else knows that but me,But in fact most of u ppl know about this,n i might sound stupid n lame, but i like to write,so...
The timing for everything is like perfect,i finished cleaning my car, the washing machine is finished with the bedsheet n etc, so i hang them outside to let it dry. Then i went upstairs n rearrange my books n got a few space to put my books. See...haha..this is effort from yours truly here, i havent watch prison break the wholeday kay,i sacrifice that to do all this,u know...Its not easy cause i m kinda addicted to prison break u see...n SO --->
This is some achievement for me! ! !
In my last post there is this reasons n excuses i gave myself for not blogging ,n there is this
"I've got alot of things to do,some done some havent! n they are :"
I m going to update that today since i did something d!
-Watching Prison Break S1 n 2
-Watch Prison Break s3 until whichever episode i got.
- Finish making Li xuan's birthday card.
- Change bedsheet n bla bla...N wash them!
- Cny shopping,Went shopping with s.pyng n hwa on friday. N Got some tops n bottoms but still want to buy more! i wish i got more, more n more money!
- Sleeping.
- Wash my Car,as in clean thoroughly!
- Arrange my books,n find more space to keep my books.
- Dreaming n thinking.
- Rearrange my clothes in the cupboard.(that would hardly happen)
- I m just too tired to blog.Tired from college n shopping.
Those in Reds are the future n blue past n purple mix of both..n this time its more blue than red!hahaha...
My pride! n Joy! for finally doing something,after delaying for a few weeks...n one more important thing : See, i m blogging! i updated my blog too! How happy can i be,ha? Very happy , happiness is in the air since a few days ago, n now more happiness !
=) =) =) =) =) =) =)
now,hows that to show my happiness??? ha? ha? ha? hehe...
n now i m hungry,got to go eat...
One more thing, i realized something,i m now using alot of but in my blog,wonder y?

Reasons n Excuses that i gave myself

Day after day since my last post i wanted to blog,
N the delay is because theres just so many other reasons n excuses i gave myself for not blogging.I know delay also nvm cause not much ppl is reading this,but u know wat?i m delaying myself.
Even now when i m posting this,there is still other things that i have to do,but i decided to update my blog first!
See...this is effort from me.
For the past two weeks i had been watching prison break, thats one of the reason i have not been blogging. I know i m super ketinggalan for prison break, cause that series existed one or two years back,but i just started watching it recently. Few years back when everyone was talking about prison break i am like duno wats happening n just listen,n did not want to watch, just dun care la!
Ejane is like super crazy about prison break cause shes watching it again n again. N i was just thinking what is this,crazy until like dat? what so great about prison break? (at that time i havent watch yet n did not plan to do so) Until one day...
When i m back to KL a few weeks ago, when college is starting...
I saw this Prison Break Dvd on top of the Dvd player,my uncle just started watching s1. N the next weekend he was watching n i see abit,n decided to watch prison break. N once i started i just could not stop! So now i know What is so great about prison break! The suspenseness/kancheongness( i know there is no such word in english but i duno whats the word,so just bear with me) in this series is just .....i duno what to say about it.
When every episode ends,u just want more n more n more.So now i know y ejane can be so crazy over it! I get to watch s1 n 2 continuously, it is actually a good thing that started watching prison break later,cause i dun have to bear with the kancheongness as long as those ppl that have too. N currently watching s3,but sadly i dont have the whole season yet,so have to bear the kancheongness this time,n i bet i can hardly remember what happen before when i get to watch the rest of s3. When u watch prison break continuously,u will be thinking of PB continuously,ppl that do watch PB agree with me? i even dreamed of PB.
There are still other reasons and excuses for me not blogging,
I've got alot of things to do,some done some havent! n they are :
-Watching Prison Break S1 n 2
-Watch Prison Break s3 until whichever episode i got.
- Finish making Li xuan's birthday card.
- Change bedsheet n bla bla...N wash them!
- Cny shopping,Went shopping with s.pyng n hwa on friday. N Got some tops n bottoms but still want to buy more! i wish i got more, more n more money!
- Sleeping.
- Wash my Car.
- Arrange my books,n find more place to keep my books.
- Dreaming n thinking.
- Rearrange my clothes in the cupboard.(that would hardly happen)
- I m just too tired to blog.Tired from college n shopping.
Those in Reds are the future n blue past n purple mix of both...n theres more red than blue n i dont know y is there so much delaying in things that i should do! Laziness should be the answer!These r just reasons n excuses i gave myself.Read if u want to n just don't if u don't want to.I know that doesn't really mean anything cause if u r reading, this is already the ending part,not meaning rite?but i like =)
I am in a happy mood this few days, n the stress period havent started yet but going to soon,cause next week is week four of this semester, which means assignments n quizzes coming soon! soon! soon! I guess that is kinda fair,cause i had been relaxing for three weeks d,but no i want more relaxing time,at least until after CNY, i know i m not too much asking for that! hahaha,but no never going to happen theres a quiz waiting for me the week of cny,but luckily its open book so this lecturer is good,hehe...After CNY is critical cause mid terms! quiz! test! assignment! n the list goes on....
Its 3 something in the morning,u see i sacrificed watching prison break for this,this is real effort of mine!n i m ending here...
done n out!

shitty shitty day

Today was shitty!
Everything was not right!
I woke up in the morning n was kinda late, So i rush a lil n i m ready.
I walk to my car that is just right in front of the gate of my house,
i went into the car, started the engine, and the windows were all blurred because of mistsss...
Nevermind i will turn on the windscreen wiper to clear that, n i start to reverse the car n i heard BUMP,oh shit! i hit my neighbor's car... N so i went out of the car to check on the effects from the hit.
Fuh.....Luckily just a scratch on my neighbor's car and i check on my car like nothing only...But actually theres a small tiny scratch after i look closer later.
So i m kinda relief, n quickly get into the car to drive to college.
This is a shitty shitty way to start my day!
While i was driving i was thinking, sure tough luck for me to change my tutorial class d wan, Just wake up already something bad so sure bad wan...But wait..maybe because of this bad thing that happen early in the morning i will get something good in return,but that is just a piece of shit in my head, Cause in the end i didnt get to change my classes n have to stay till five fking thirty! n i did not ask also la,but if i ask also no use cause i wont get so y waste my energy?argh!
How sad is that? n it is going to be like this for twelve more week! I m going to college from 8 to 5.30 thats terrible!
Desperation does lead me to something but ends with nothing!
bah! Forget about that n just face the fact that i must stay till five fking thirty on tuesdays for twelve more weeks cos thats my FATE!
After reaching college i took the bus to block a ( thats were my classes are,n i duno why must HELP U.C. be divided into a few parts) n climb up the stairs to level four n mck! that level is locked, y la the people din open the door? So i ended up sitting by the stairs waiting for some people to open the door, n the hall is locked n they cannot open n have to wait again...i m tired of this waiting!aiyoh,cannot not make ppl wait wan meh?eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Nevermind finally got into class n after class is the tutorial thingy i dun wan to repeat!
N i went in to another class n another n i got break n hav to wait till 4 n 5 something finish class! Finally!!!
Came home and after eating dinner n all, Today is not dat shitty after all, Just the beginning shitty ending no more shitty...hehe
oh,n i got frozen food which my mum cook all the way from Taiping =)
i m addicted to prison break...
n i got to go sleep...
Gdnite ppl =)

Flashback on 2007

So,here i am, i m going to Flashback on 2007.
ermm...where should i start?
I m sure in a year there must be alot to flashback on, nvm i will just mention those that i remember.
-I changed my course from psychology to business,i hope thats a correct decision,anway i think it should be. N because of the sudden change of course i got three months holiday,n of course i spend the holidays in beloved Taiping!~actually the holiday is like wasting time,but nvm cos wat i got is time =)
- Two of my cousin sister got married.
- I got some things cleared, things that made me super confused n in 2007 those had been cleared! if i m not wrong i think things were cleared in the beginning of middle of 2007. So thats good, cause at last i can let my mind be free once again.
- I went for a holiday with my family at the end of 2007. We went to China n Hong Kong! N the weather was super cold in China but thats a good experience!
- I am a year older n wiser ~i think,hehe..
- Got some new found hobbies,if u read my blog u will know what it is.
and that is just what i remembered..
its rather short,but what to do thats the most my brain can produce, i was also quite surprised that my flashback on 2007 was short cos i cannot really remember, nevermind if i happen to remember more then i will add it in.

*see u all in my next post,
please come again tq =)

2008 first..

Happy New Year all =)
I know i m late but its just 11, So its just the 11th day of the year.
N so, i consider the year is still new.New year resolutions? Dun have any. To me its just the beginning of a year n a year ended. New year is not a big hu-ha for me, but Chinese New Year i m sure there is. Last time i do think that New Year is a big thing, but once u grow older u just realize that new year is going to happen every year(unless u r like no going to be in this world den different la), n the 1st of January is just like any other day. I guess i m no more the kid i am. Its a fact that everyone will grow older every year, but u know what? I am still young at heart!haha. Actually i love being a kid ;
no worries,
innocent,
dunno anything,
just do whatever u feel like doing n if its something wrong den kena la, n after that "kena" session u will forget everything like nothing happen..so nice!
I think i once wrote that i like doing things a kid get to do. N i miss my childhood. What i actually miss most was staying at my Ama's house and staying in Gerik with my uncles n aunties n cousins during school holidays. But now no more going back to Gerik cause they are all in Taiping. Staying in Gerik was like so long ago! U know what? Taiping is better =)
Enough of my childhood.
Now,since i do not have any resolutions, i would like to do a flashback on 2007.


to be continue...
please come back for the continuation,ya =)