today...

so today is one quarter bad day...went to sch in da morn as usual bt nt late..stil got scolding from mother cos say i woke up lar..anway i dun care..n den finish sch at 4 bt hav to wait for sister until 4.50..n nw im here writing things..aih..its stil da same..after havin great talk wit my friends...i found out tat ther is stil one more thing tat is actualy i dun care..but to them i must care..anway im not goin to care..i hav to settle this one first.i reli thanked them cos at least there are ppl tat is listening to me..n giv me advice..heehee..i am sure that i will b able to cope n will go thorough this..i dun think tat i have to change..
do i?i don't think so..
i am reli hapy being me...
i think i am already hafway to success..heehee..
i think mayb i will go thorough this n hav a good laugh...heehee..oh my god.n friday is judgement day..report card day..woohoo..im like so goin to die..but nevermine lar..tats my life wat can i do huh?sumtimes i reli think n i hate myself but den i realise tat i must like myself...y must i hate myself?but i dun like being me...no matter what happen life must stil go one..
so i must b strong..
to face all the thing in life..
n wit tat i must live strong..
n do evrthing tat i want to who heartedly...(is word exist anot??i duno.)
ok..

-zen-29/june/05...

heehee

this person next her is...marsha she from akademi fantasia(af)..
she got the potential to ac b the next champion..but we must vote for her..da last 2 years the champions were both males..to y dun this time we make this lady over here the champion..so some one vote for her!!!!!!!!!dun forget..wait for her n watch her perform in this fifth akademi fantasia concert on this saturday 2/1/2005 at 8.30..p.m..she is goin to sing bassanova(saloma)
remember to vote for her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok..today is tuesday..im this is the 2nd thing im goin to write right here now..i MUST whole heartedly forget about this thing for once n all now..im always happy n crazy n most of the timehavin fun in sch.n when im back in house i will b in trouble.ac not in trouble lar..but i won b dat crazy anmore...i will b thinkin of sumthing..and now im goin to overcome this for once n all..i must make sure this wont happen to me again in my whole entire lifetime....i hav been in this state for long d..i dont wana b like this anmore..im not goin to repeat this mistake of mine again..never ever..cos now im torturing myself n i dun wana torture my self anmore...i woke up quite late today...n im almost late to sch..wen i step in to the sch..the prefect did not stop me n smile to me...so im safe..pheww..went to chemi clas the first period of the day...im moody..i start my today with ppl yelling with me..i start my day today badly..aih..sch finish but have to stay back cos got some activities goin on..until like bout 3 sumthing..on da way back..bought laksa haf way...reach home hav da laksa..woohooo..dammmm nice...b on the phone..n next im sitting here writting sumthing..i hope tat i can hav a great day 2moro..heehee..at least i can hav fun n smile...i WILL OVERCOME this n i MUST do it...i know i CAN..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!yesssssssssssssssssssssss...............the next thing is i think da marsha in af is good..she can sing very well..n i think she's the best..

-zen-28/6/05...

ther she is!!!!!!!!!

she is da one ....

aih..

this is da first time im writting something here..i need help..but i im not quite wat kind of help tat i need.i know no one can help me except my self.im always thinking of something tat i dun want to think of..ta thing just keep on coming to my mind..once im free i will think of it.y must this hapen to me..most of the time i just hope tat i wake up the next day n i will forgot of wat happen in the past...so tat i wont b thinking of tat thing over n over again.i know tat it is hard n mayb imposible to not think of tat thing anmore..but nothing is impossible so im goin to make it possible..no one on this whole entire world can help me cos no one knows tat im like this now..i kenot be my old self anmore...tat one tat dun hav to worry n always think..alot.i just hope tat i can wake up every day in the morning n go to sch n go thorough the day happily n bahagialy..n hav a nice sleep in da nite..i must do something befor this thing get to b worser..den dat time there will b no cure n it wil b damm hard n imposible for me to turn back at tat time..today is kinda normal to me..woke up..early :(..n went to sch...its hazey...

-zen-27/6/05..4.50 p.m.