deal no deal?

I am not a risk taker in certain things,that is.
Even if i m assured that the risk is worth taking, but i still somehow doubt or think twice or sometimes think n then won't take the risk..
Its too risky, n i don't want to lose..i cannot take it anymore i know,i might die or if i didnt den the rest of my life will b meaningless.

anugerah hidup lebih bermakna dgn adanya kehadiran elemen kebahagiaan, tetapi jika tiada kebahagiaan, hidup tiada begitu bermakna or mungkin langsung tidak bermakna.

selamat hari raya.

...

something happen yesterday.

what is goin to happen?

What will happen to me in the future?

What will i do when i graduate, i thought i had that all in my mind,all the plans made by myself when i was thinking thinking,but today suddenly it hit me that will i really really follow what that i had planned for myself?

Will i continue masters? or i will actually just start working?

Start working, means supporting myself, earning money and feeding myself n all. I know everyone will have to start working someday n start supporting ourselves, we wont be dependent on our parent for the whole of our life, theres one point where we finally need to be independent, n all of that is coming in one year plus plus time?? whoah,thats big for me. But i know when that day comes, i will learn to value money more, and dun simply spend. Its not that now i don't value, its just when we can just ask for money n we would get it without need to do anything, we are still in the comfort zone, we know some how we will get it by just asking. its easy,just ask from our parents. There is this saying 'there is no such thing as free lunch', i truly agree with that, n i learn that from a camp i went after finishing form 5. yes, the only thing that i learned from that camp that i remember till today n will for the rest of my life is there is no such thing as free lunch. That camp is not all about that, n they didn't specifically tell us about that, it is just what i myself found out when i was there. But there are free lunches only from our parents. Their hard earned money are used supporting us, feed us, sending us to school n etc.. n one of the reasons parents work so hard are for their kids, n they hope nothing in return. N education nowadays are really expensive, kinder garden also damn expensive and canggih already, small small also go tuition d. n tuitions is like a must, n its also expensive. nowadays,after form five, almost everyone is getting a degree. So soon degree will b compulsory, like nothing already, everyone on the streets have a degree, n so people will have to do masters. n phd n the list continues..

Seriously i don't know what will i do after i graduate,work?masters?

anyhow,nevermine cos this is my now, so see how, just follow the flow.

oh,n yesterday my friend told me that the world is going to end in 2012 what month what day i forgot already. the first thing dat came up to my mind was, yorrr,den study so hard for degree for wat ma all wasted,ceh..so whatever it is i will live everyday to the fullest, cos i might just sleep n never wake up, or cross the road when i was walking to uni n got hit by a bus or car or motorbike n just never get to c the world again, or slipped n fall on the bathroom n hit my head n just die of internal bleeding in the brain, or heart attack den heart die, or alot more la..so so so don't have to really really think of the future,think abit bit enough d.

In conclusion, i am actually quite comfortable in where i am now, so just continue to be when i can right? n there is no need to make my self uncomfortable in the comfort zone. =)

n for all of that,i can continue being in the comfort zone, thanks to my papa n mami lo.

i hope that everything will be okay for you soon.very soon.

i dont know what to say n duno what to do.

but i always n always will b there if you need me.

etyx

dealova

omg.pure coincidence just happen.oh,not coincidence more like a pinch of miracle??

secubit keajaiban??

dealova

we live,we move on

n even if we dont,life goes on.n so we just have to follow n go on.

whether we move on anot,our life goes on.therefore we might still b stuck in that same exact spot, its either we r reluctant to move or we want to move but we just couldnt, n in this case some of us might just lie to ourselves and people around us that yes,i've move on.there is nothing that is going to make me stuck,cos i let go. moved on,and just pretend as if everything is okay,our life is back to normal n we r good. But deep down in our heart,we know we are not okay not good still stuck,n we know we could lie to everyone around us but not ourselves. No matter how hard u try, deep down inside u know,u're still stuck there. The more u lie, the worse it would get. Sometime we thought,oh i am good i am ok,but after a while the same thing will come again agree? cause its just a lie,that we made to make ourselves feel better but it would get worse.

Even for those that really moved on,we might stop once in a while n turn back to look at the spot that we moved from,and remisnice about things back then.so no matter what.life goes on.

we just have to live with it, bare with it, if u're lucky u will b save from the spot by that someone,to me this is not about luckiness or wat so ever, its all about:

miracle.keajaiban.destiny.takdir.

kebahagiaan.

If its yours it will be yours no matter what happen,no matter how far apart, no matter how long it takes, no matter how imposible it is.

If its not yours no matter how hard u try, no matter how near u are, no matter how fast it takes, no matter how possile it is,it wont be yours. Eventhough u thought that u got it,somehow someway something will happen n gone no more..

I don't think we could ever move on,what that actually happen is we get used to it,we get use of not having what we use to have n we thought we move on, but still of course we always turn back n think n be in that spot again.

MB

Today is Wednesday,n i am done with my Master Budget, Submitted in class at 10.30 today.

The feeling of satisfaction after u finished a big assignment, is good, but if i get a good grade for it the feeling would be awesomely Great. So, let's hope for the best..

Budgeting is really a lot of work, for the past few days i have been thinking about budgeting, day n night, shine or rain, cold or hot. When i am awake i m budgeting, when i m sleeping i dreamt of the Master Budget, see see how much this master budget impacted my life. I had been only staying in my room for the past few days till i finish it, and i would want to say i actually loved it because i finished it.

N tomorrow aku ada test.Haven't start studying yet cause i was busy budgeting.

I think it is actually good to keep a blog, and blog about what u did n this n that about ur life, cause someday or one year or any time la after dat same exact date or just randomly when u r browsing what u had blogged about, u will found a few things that would amazed you. ur thoughts, n all, u might have the same thought on that very same day or same month or same period one year or two years after that, and u might also find out that another person actually had the same thought as what u had like one year after?that feeling is really nice..i just feel nice discovering all that. ok,but for some things i really felt awesome and those are what that made me feel super nice,and u know that this is not an coincidence.bukan kebetulan tetapi..more like Oh My God,its just takdir.destiny. and that equals keBAHAGIAan.

There is this song that i had been listening to over n over n over again,n i repeat i actually repeated that song on my comp on the mp3 player n i think will i ever be bored of this song..suara dengarkanlah aku apa khabarnya pujaan hati ku,aku di sini menunggunya masih berharap di dalam hatinya,suara dengarkanla aku apakah selalu di hatinya aku di sini menunggunya masih berharap di dalam hatinya..suara dengarkanla aku...

Ok from what i had said in the above about how i discover things from my blog,i would make a decision that when anything significant or anything i think i would want to know in the future i would record it here at zen-zen.blogspot.com. Think of this, what will u feel when u are old and all that u r reading ur blog, n u goes wah,rupa2nya aku dulu pernah fikir itu?buat itu?buat ini? omg my thoughts are like that?..i wonder n wonder n i will know when i m old n reading my blog.

I have something to say on Wednesday.